Self-concept will always effect self-esteem. It’s not what you are; it’s
what you see. Like the person who is anorexic, we see, bones and they still see
fat and as long as that’s what they see, then they will continue to destroy
themselves until they cannot see it anymore. What we see, has a lot to do with
what we feel. If you don’t feel like you’re beautiful then you’re not and it
really is as simple as that. What we look like is a reflection of ourselves. What
we attract, how we react and what we think is acceptable. For instance, when I
was 120lbs; I was confident. When my hair was long; I was confident. When I
looked the way I felt I should have looked, I could put on anything and look
good because I felt good. When I was free to explore my body and wear my hair
the way I wanted and paint my nails whatever color that defined me at the
moment; I was beautiful. I felt it and I looked it. The moment, I gained all
that weight, even though I was pregnant, the moment I couldn’t walk into any store
and pick out clothes, the moment I cut my hair and the moment I could see my
tummy over my pants, I started to see dark circles around my eyes that I have
never seen before. I went from glowing at 29 to feeling 10yrs older at 30 and looking
like it too; just like that. At least this is how I feel. I only bring other
people down when they complement me and I am respond with, “yea right.” Because
essentially, it doesn’t matter what they think. It matters what I think about
myself. You know, people say media plays a major role in how a woman thinks she
should look, the attention she should get and how she is supposed to carry
herself but I don’t think it’s true. I think media helps us identify but if you
think about it, even the girl with the perfect body could have low self-esteem.
She hears everyone but she only listens to herself. It’s just like your voice,
when a person listens to you speak, they hear you one way and then when you
hear yourself, you are like, do I really sound that way. We are our worst
critics. We must get into the habit of believing in ourselves and being in
tuned with ourselves; inside and transferring that energy to the outside. Adolescents
are in more difficult circumstances because they are finding out who they are,
what they like about themselves and what they dislike and ect. If he/she doesn’t
see who they really are and the beauty they really behold then what they see
affects self-concept and self-esteem in a very negative way. I think a way to alleviate some of that is
advocating for people to be themselves; that it is way cooler to just be you, no
matter what you think you look like or even what others think; it’s all about
how YOU feel. It truly is.
