What was I thinking... ??

What was I thinking.. ??? What was I thinking? I hold on so much; what was I thinking? I thought that if I made excuses then the lies weren’t true.. I thought that I was done.. I thought that I was through.. What was I thinking??  Minding my own business and out of the blue, there was you! What was I thinking, thinking that my dream had come true… I wasn’t thinking & it seems that love can do that to you!

This Morning I thought.....

Took a shower; got ready for work… walked the dog; got in my car. The smell of a gloomy wet night surprisingly made me think randomly. Slipped a CD in the disk changer; checked my mirrors…seat belt on and started driving. Random thoughts colliding trying to slip out completely…. I thought… what if I fell in Love with a poet?

Would our hearts relate verbally? Artistically seeking the redemption of the Love, feeling and greeting each other spirits emotionally..I wanted Love; someone to love me not only physically but deeply. Deeply touring my thoughts and we connected phonetically in pieces…Pieces that lasted life times beyond me & began connecting lifetimes before me. We touched never but touched frequently. Through our quest to conjointly intertwine our thoughts freely I want to fall in love with a poet….

I backed in, put my car in park and walked into the building

Clocked in & turned on my computer …

The smile on my face expressed everything that I have been longing, wishing and hoping for.. Words that created similes and metaphors of my desires that deeply protrude through my chest.. The hidden lines that creased so deeply and have suddenly become visible to the touch.. The feel me when you’re feeling me.. Make love to me while loving me… fck me without fckn me…

Received my first call & starting working

……I want to fall in love with a poet 

I love her....

When I think of the woman that I would love to be compared to... it would be this woman.. She is very private but with such bold statements. You look at her and you can either Love or Hate her; nothing in between. As a daughter to an Icon, she represents herself perfectly. You can tell that she is a real woman, fashionable, natural..very open and free... You can tell just by looking at her... She is Beautiful to me... !!

Umm Mary.....??!

Lets talk about this coonery... For one, did you see her shake when she interrupted & asked what was in the snack wrap!!!! I replayed that 100 times... "crispy chicken, fresh lettuce, 3 cheeses.... Lets stop there..now did you see how she formed her fingers like a chicken and put up two fingers instead of 3..Right... For one, She is black woman singing about crispy chicken.. Mary Baby, the 2milion was a trap boo..

This is really sad that we are going this route again.... Mary looked like a fool and it was offensive, oh but I laughed, I laughed from a healthy place... White people? I know you were probably jammin' and didn't see anything wrong, I  know.. But we laughed because it was all wrong....  Oh but i laughed from a healthy place..that commercial ... Oh Mary.. "when you think you are having a bad day, Poor little tink tink, poor little tink tink"

My fustration...

All day I was thinking about my blog, Beyonce' faking her pregnancy and Chris Brown and Rhianna getting together... Not to mention thinking for the 100th time, I really need a seamstress, a book of sketches just sitting here..... But i guess I am supposed to be discussing my frustration...  I thought it would be easy to start my blog.... there is so much I want to put on here... So I am sitting here listening to Pandora, tad bit zutted, & just.... staring at the screen... Like WTF, I have a brother, mother and father who are fluent in computer knowledge. You would think I knew a little;Nope! I got nothing but I will eventually... :) Peace & blessing!!

Enough about me; tell about your day.....

The Revolution will surely be televised...

I was listening to the Tom Joyner Morning Show this morning while I was driving to work. Ummm, they were reading the news and there were 2 new stories dealing with this whole black white issue; this race issue! I cant remember the stories verbatim & when I do I will post the links but I was listening. And all of the sudden, the only sound you heard were voices. If you paid attention like I did you could hear them speaking in anger and disgust.  They were speaking proper English but you could hear the curse words; this went on for about 7 minutes straight. Before I knew it I felt anger; I was nervous & almost scared. Not scared in a sense of being scared of someone, but who wants to live to fight literally everyday because of the color of their skin? I started to have flashbacks of a time I have never experienced; segregation.

I said to myself, damn, as much as I am trying to ignore the fact that I am just a person who does not have to deal with this race issue, I do. I am actually on guard!! What the fuck? Then I thought ok, I can be murdered by someone because I am black right? But my mother is white & what if this becomes worse where no one feels safe and everyone feels threatened?? What it some blacks feel the need to be as ignorant as some of these whites; my MOTHER is WHITE. I have never been afraid of anything in my life. I am in fear of what is to come.  I am born to a white mother and a black father and I am torn between not only my race but my ethnic background. There are people like antidarkskin, who are on twitter bashing blacks & calling us niggers for what??? 

When slavery was present, Willie Lynch wrote a letter on how to help slave owners control their slaves… One of the rules were to separate us by complexion, age and sex.. I believe… the idea was to make us not trust each other, turn against each other based of all of the above. If you look at this in year 2012; we still separate ourselves based on all of the above including class. We judge each other; we kill each other. The idea that some of us still have a slave mentality after all of these years is concerning; why because we ALL need to take care of each other… times seem to be changing for the worse; I am in FEAR… we have a second chance to accomplish and approach today’s issues better than the ones who lead us in the civil rights movement in the 60's. Black people love the skin you are in; understand that the revolution will surely be televised… We are strong, we are educated and we are beautiful; DO Not let anyone tare us down…

http://www.itsabouttimebpp.com/bpp_books/pdf/the_willie_lynch_letter_the_making_of_a_slave!.pdf I advised that you read this and understand how we will NOT allow this to happen again…get familiar and pay attention… we are programmed to be ignorant and hate ourselves for a reason…  there is a power in black that cannot be controlled once the power has been exposed.!! Pay attention black people; wake up!

Protected...

The Eye of Horus was believed to have healing and protective power, and it was used as a protective amulet. It was also used as a notation of measurement, particularly for measuring the ingredients in medicines and pigments. The symbol was divided into six parts, representing the shattering of Horus´ eye into six pieces. Each piece was associated with one of the six senses and a specific fraction.