This Woman..

I am a lover of live instruments, melodies flowing & sounds colliding to make one easy stream of music so sweet to the ear; soft to the touch. I love flowers, colorful and bright.. Cute insects & lady bugs are my favorite. They describe me perfectly; sophisticated, bold & beautiful but gentle and quiet all at the same time. I hide behind armor strong to the core because I am weak in the idea of Love.. Imagining what it can be or feel like but my imagination is only created for these dreams I dream; the ones that may never come true. So why not shield the hope; hopeful not to get hurt. I used to live to be a mother, a good wife and provider for my family; live to comfort others. What about me.. forgot about me... now I live for myself, to be me.. almost selfishly. I'm feisty, witty and sometimes a blond. I laugh a lot  & cry equally as much but hiding that weakness has been my strength. I don't like to feel vulnerable and out of control. When I seem as if I am being complicated .. I really am.. I'm indecisive & when I don't stay busy all I do is think...I don't read as much as I should but lately I feel impelled to. I am happy, Sad, I sometimes disappoint myself but at the end of this list not yet finished I only know of one woman & I am all she can be.. Love my flaws because I'm far from flawless. Tell me I am beautiful even though I already know; it matters. if you cant write, send me lyrics to a song to express how you feel. Tell me you love me even though your actions speak louder than words & you can take it back after but i'll know its real... I don't want to be who you want me to be; I will only be me... this is me & you wont have to second guess that.