When it comes to the individual & relationship status there are I believe, three major stages. The relationship, the breakup and the epiphany stage (after the breakup). When two people are in a relationship there is some form of love. I mean even when it’s bad, you work at it and all the feelings, even the bad ones, are grand; it’s great, right? I mean because let’s face it, even the person who is against being in a relationship wants a relationship with someone that makes life a little easier when they are in it. Who doesn't want to have someone to love, someone to call their best friend or someone to make love to or simply just sex? I personally look forward to the make-up sex; I am just saying. Overall it’s a good feeling especially if it’s a pretty good relationship.
Then we have the
breakup. Depending on the type of relationship you are in, will determine your
reaction to it. There are several types of breakups. There is the mutual
breakup; the mutual breakup is when both parties are adult enough to know that
the shit just isn't working. So they are better off being friends... or not. In
the end of the mutual breakup is all good either way. The you broke up with me you bastard breakup.
Now, emotionally for the person who was let go, it’s a pretty fucked up
situation. It’s pretty sad actually, especially because the one who did the
letting go is chillin' and probably already dating someone else. Ha, it’s
pretty tough. Then you have the worst of them all, the I left because I had to leave break ups. I left you because you were
abusing me, I left you because you cheated, I left you because you weren't
ready and I left your ass because it was bad timing. Damn, almost forgot, I had
to leave because I don't love you anymore... daaammmnnn …. damn. During the breakup
stage there is a lot of emotion man and I mean a lot. But the goal,
the bright side, the number one accomplishment is the
epiphany moment; that ah ha moment.
Now in my case, I
normally am the one that breaks up with someone and at that point I am done with
being emotional. Hell I have already went through the breakup stage before I
even broke up with their ass. Truth be told I am pretty lenient.
So I take a lot of shit until I am not going to take it anymore. I am not
trying to go through the breakup emotion because
"don't nobody have time for that." The shit is draining. Now, let’s
say, in the case that I wasn't the one who broke up with the other.
What if I say that, the situation was left alone because we have no choice but
to let it go? What happens when you fall in love with the right
person at the wrong damn time? I think the worst part of falling in love is
falling in love and being in a situation that should not have been in the first
place. Well I perused it anyway. Oh and it ended, but I love, I love,
I love and so I went through the I understand and let’s be friends,
to wtf let’s take a break because I need to deal with my feelings and to the
fuck you I hate you for making me feel this way, let’s not talk at all. Those are
emotions one doesn't want; hell I don't want. When you are
going through the cycles of a breakup, I know for me, I become weak,
sad and vulnerable when I truly love someone. It hurts like hell. Especially when
you have met your equal but it just isn't the right time or it could
never really be.
The other day, I
sent this long ass text about how emotional I was by not speaking at all and
the response simply said what I already knew and had been saying the entire
time but I wanted so bad to fight; for us to fight. At that moment, when I came
back to reality, when I realized how emotionally crazy I had become and made myself;
I just stopped and said okay. It took that response to realize that no matter what we
feel, we have to be realistic about what the situation is. Our reality was based on what we wished
we could have as opposed to what it really was. I was stuck on the
idea that if we loved each other ENOUGH then we could make it work but when
the timing is wrong, when the situation isn't right or one is just not ready
then it just won’t work; in love nothing can be forced. Love is
patient. When people go through breakups, they go through a lot of emotional
points just to get to that epiphany moment, that ah ha moment, when
the pain just stops. There is never a time limit on a sad feeling;
you don't stop being sad until you stop being sad. It truly is as
simple as that.
My disclaimer in
it all is I was not in a titled relationship; I was in love. In life people
come in to change apart of you; to add to your life. In every type of relationship we
should embrace it, learn from it and move forward. Sometimes you have to let something go for it to come back and sometimes you have to just let go. hakuna matata
Maktub
